Some people think whiskey, even the good stuff, tastes like turpentine. But others appreciate the finer points of this brown booze — and know when they’re tasting a subpar product. Here are some whiskeys that, even on sale, you should probably skip.
Prices and availability are subject to change.
Bolanchi Highlands
$3
You can get this stuff in Egypt, but you probably don’t want to. As one Redditor stated, “As soon as I tried the stuff, it became apparent this is exceptionally poor… [The nose was] strong pine. Hint of lemon, smells of chemicals and quite herbal with some aniseed present. Nothing that would make you think this is whisky. Just a very faint note of maple and something that suggests milk chocolate. Also a bit of burnt plastic.”
Kentucky Gentleman
$11
This whiskey is described by some reviewers as straight up unpalatable and actually offensive to your tastebuds. It’s also only 51% true bourbon. The rest of the mix is just neutral grain spirits. Yum.
Dewars White Label
$23
This bottle may be cheap, but it isn’t well-loved. One Redditor stated, “I was served it while stuck on the tarmac at an airport and they were offering free drinks. Almost retched.”
Johnny Walker Red Label
$24
Yes, it’s cheap, and yes, it’s everywhere. That doesn’t mean it’s any good. As one Redditor stated, “JWRL falls in the same category as Heineken beer. If it’s the only thing available, I’d rather not drink at all.”
Ardbeg Anamorphic
$250
This isn’t cheap, so if you want to save some cash and have the same experience, lick an ashtray. One Redditor explained, “It tasted like an ashtray with no subtlety or even basic whisk(e)y flavors. The best way I could describe it is if they took the remains of an ashtray, mixed it with a lower tier vodka (Smirnoff maybe?) and added some dye for color.”
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Stillhouse Whiskey
$20
White whiskey is usually cheaper, as it hasn’t aged in a barrel and yes, you may know it better as moonshine. It’s sort of like that Simpson’s bit, when Ralphie says, “They taste like burning.” Yup.
Proper No. Twelve Irish Whiskey
$27
When someone says “celebrity alcohol brand,” I’m already expecting bad booze, and this brand from MMA fighter Conor McGregor does nothing to dispel that theory. According to Adventures in Whiskey, “There’s a rough-around-the-edges alcohol quality here that starts to overwhelm the entire tasting experience, and it continues through the short finish. Woof! Proper No. Twelve is not something I’d reach for again to drink neat. There’s zero complexity here.”
Lonehand Sour Mash
$30
Forget about burning — this one tastes like nothing. From the bottle and the emphasis on “sour mash,” there’s a sense that this whiskey aspires to be like Jack Daniels, but it’s not even in the same ball park.
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Whyte & Mackay Blended Scotch
$22
What stands out from this bottle is how harsh it is. It’s really, really harsh. And beyond that, there isn’t much. There’s a hint of vanilla, but chances are you won’t notice it because you’re looking for something else to drink so you can get the taste of this swill out of your mouth.
Hayes Parker Kentucky Bourbon
$40
This is awful whiskey, according to critics, who point out notes of “wet cardboard” and “mold” and a sickly sweetness.
Templeton Rye
$26
This rye is thinner than many others and sickly sweet. It also lacks when it comes to spices. In other words, you can do better.
Two Stars Kentucky Straight Bourbon
$100
This may be a pricey bottle, but it doesn’t taste like one. It’s harsh and unrefined and, again, taste like burning. Even if you find a cheap bottle, it’s not worth it at any price.
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