Americans are hopeless romantics who prefer traditional dating to online dating and believe in true love that lasts a lifetime. But it’s not all roses and unicorns — there are plenty of Americans who size a partner up by income and have no problem juggling as many as 11 online partners at a time. Read on to learn some of the most fascinating facts about dating and love in the United States, gathered from Statista and other recently published studies and surveys.
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Americans still believe in love — in fact, 42% of respondents to a Statista survey believe in love at first sight.
… And Also Be Very Practical
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About half the true-love crowd, or 23% of respondents, call common interests and similar levels of education more important than romantic love. Okay, if you say so.
Sometimes Too Practical
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One somewhat disappointing survey result: About 11% of us think “having a lot of money” or a high income makes a potential partner more attractive.
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How romantic are Americans? You have to wonder – a full 23% said they “would not be willing to make sacrifices for my love.” Though, to be fair, they were being quizzed about whether they would leave their profession, move out of the country, convert to another religion, alienate friends and family, leave a spouse, or leave their children. (It was 32% who would move out of the country, and 10% would convert. Five percent would leave a spouse, and 2% would leave their kids.)
Some of Us Have No Limits
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A full 7% say there is “no characteristic I could not tolerate from a partner,” and that includes infidelity, dishonesty, having no sense of responsibility, and disrespect toward parents.
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About 22% of respondents say a healthy relationship can survive an affair. The rest of us may be happy to hear that a study by Durex in 2016 found that the United States wasn’t even in the top 10 of most-unfaithful nationalities — a list topped by Thailand, where 51% of married adults admitted to cheating (followed by Denmark, Italy, Germany, France, Norway, Belgium, Spain, the U.K., and Finland). And the 84% of American adults who care are topped only by Turks and citizens of the Palestinian territories (both 94%), Pew Research found around the same time. (Who cares the least if their partner cheats? The French, of course.)
We’ve Met the Love of Our Life
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Curiously, about 21% of the respondents tell Statista they have already encountered the love of their life … several times. Which might mean some among us believe there isn’t just one true love. About 46% of respondents, however, say they encountered the love of their life just once. Ten percent, sadly, have not met the love of their life and do not believe they will, while 6% don’t believe in true love.
We Can Mate for Life
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Asked how long they think the “feeling of love” can last in a relationship, about 77% of respondents told Statista they believe love can last a lifetime. Aww.
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There’s No Such Thing as the ‘Friend Zone’
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Don’t be too afraid of being friends first if you truly like someone — 57% of respondents think friendships can develop into romance. Things might go the other way too and still be okay: 34% think it’s possible to have a good friendship with an ex-partner.
Most Americans Date the Old-Fashioned Way
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About 40% of Americans report that neither they nor anyone they know has met a partner through online dating. (In fact, more than half the women survey — 53% — and 41% of men online in the United States say they are “not likely at all” to use a dating app or website to find a partner.) Just 17% say they met a partner through a dating app, and 30% say they know someone who met a partner this way.
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Kiss on a first date? A full 27% of respondents say no. Yet only 15% say it’s morally wrong for unmarried people to have sex. (And only 6% say birth control is morally wrong.)
When we do date online, the most popular app is the one that introduced us to the concept of swiping left (or right). Tinder, founded in 2012, has about 7.9 million users; Bumble, launched two years later, comes in second with about 5 million users; POF, or Plenty of Fish, founded all the way back in 2003, is third with 4.3 million users.
Grindr
While more daters may be on Tinder, the minutes people spend on it each month are dwarfed by what they do with the Grindr app. In fact, Grinder — which is more about hookups than love — outpaces every other dating platform with its 935 average minutes of user engagement each month. Tinder users, by comparison, are on a mere 78 minutes monthly, in seventh place behind such lesser known names as Meet Me; POF; Hinge; and OkCupid.
Women Have Their Choice
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The users on Match.com are largely men: 67.5%, compared with the 32.5% of users who are women. Tinder’s user base is 78% male and 22% female.
We’re Not Exclusive Online
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People dating online certainly don’t limit their options. Statista says about 25% of users typically communicate with four to five people at once; another 23% communicate with at least two to three contacts at once. And 19% said they juggle 11 or more contacts simultaneously.
We’re In a Rush …
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Online daters don’t waste much time getting together in person — 29% say they arrange an in-person meeting right away. Another 28% say they exchange basic information about each other first, such as occupation and interests. Only 15% of users say they prefer to get to know a person really well before meeting.
… But Not Very Trusting
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Checking out the social media profile of someone before going on a date? According to Statista, a whopping 60% of online daters do it before meeting face to face. And 21% also research the person’s phone number online before a first date, while about 15% of online daters are really cautious: They say they run a background check on a date before meeting.
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There are dangers online. On free dating apps, you can expect 1 in 10 users to be scammers, according to a separate study by BackgroundChecks.org.
Online Dating in Alaska Is the Worst
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When BackgroundChecks crunched data including cybercrime statistics, romantic fraud rates, and violent crime stemming from online interactions, it found that Alaska was the most dangerous state for online dating. Blame 85 cases of romance fraud reported to the FBI in 2018 for a “danger score” for Alaska that’s a whopping 12 times higher than the safest state. Alaskans lost an estimated $1 million to online dating scams. (Rounding out the top five most dangerous states: Nevada, California, Florida, and Colorado.)
Vermont is the Safest State for Online Dating
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On the opposite coast, tiny Vermont had the lowest danger score of any state, with 25 reported cases of online fraud in 2018 and reported losses just below $130,000. (Rounding out the five safest: West Virginia, Montana, New Hampshire, and Maine. As BackgroundChecks.org points out, for some reason the safest states for online dating are primarily in the east.)
Mia Taylor is an award-winning journalist who has more than two decades of experience. She has contributed to TheStreet, Westways Magazine, Trip 101, the San Diego Union-Tribune, and KPBS (the San Diego affiliate of National Public Radio). Mia began her career in Boston as a general assignment reporter for The Patriot Ledger. She also worked as a metro reporter for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution and holds a graduate degree in journalism from San Diego State University’s School of Journalism and Media Studies. In 2011, Mia was part of a team of KPBS reporters who received the Walter Cronkite Award for Excellence in Journalism for their investigation into California county government. Mia can be reached directly at http://www.miataylorwriter.com/.
