Have you ever wanted to torch your life, blow up your career, and start over? Well, now you can! We’ve compiled some of the most tragic, comical, and weird career-ending mistakes from a popular 8,000-plus comment Reddit thread. So whether you’re feeling destructive or just want to commiserate with internet strangers, here are 10 field-tested workplace mistakes that ruined Redditors’ careers.
Bring a Thermometer to Work
If it weren’t for labor regulations and workers’ rights, we’d still have children working 13-hour shifts in flammable buildings. And even then, some bosses continue to flout the rules to save a few bucks. Case in point: One commenter says that the fast food joint they worked at didn’t have air conditioning, potentially violating temperature labor laws. But when the worker brought a thermometer to work, their boss fired them.
Send a ‘Scathing’ Email to Your Boss
Sending a spicy email? I’ve got two pieces of advice. First, don’t send anything in an email that you wouldn’t want everyone to see. And second, write the email before adding the recipient. Otherwise, you might end up sending “a scathing email” about your boss directly to your boss, as this Redditor did. “I noticed his name the exact moment I hit send. You have never felt that much panic,” they add.
Call the HR Lady ‘The Angel of Death’
It seems obvious, but name-calling at work is ill-advised — even if it’s done in private. One commenter learned this the hard way after they called the human resources lady “The Angel of Death.” Whenever she was in town, heads would roll.
Steal Cigarettes
Instead of just asking someone to bum a smoke, this Redditor’s coworker decided to steal two cigarettes from a colleague’s bag. That small act of petty thievery cost him his six-figure job.
Be Honest That You’re Poor
Imagine this. You’re interning at $9 an hour, and you mention to your boss that you’re buying a car. When he follows up and asks whether you’re buying new, you say that, no, your “budget isn’t big enough” for a new ride. Normal interaction, right? Well, a Redditor says that their boss considered these comments “disrespectful,” as they implied that they didn’t make enough money.
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Get Injured
Career-ending mistakes aren’t all borne of petty disputes and miscommunications. One commenter says that they fell and “broke enough bones” that they’ll “never work” in their industry again.
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Put Laxatives in Your Lunch
How do you catch a lunch thief? You lace your own food with laxatives, duh. The only issue is that if your boss is the culprit — as is the case in one Redditor’s story — you could get the can.
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Gesticulate With a Knife
While opening packages with a knife in the mailroom, a Redditor says they started a conversation with the secretary. Both are Italian, the commenter writes, and so they gesture a lot while talking. But given that the Redditor was gesticulating while armed — never a good idea — the secretary was spooked and complained to the higher-ups. Three days later, the Redditor lost their job.
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Lift Wrong … For 14 Years
While white-collar workers have to deal with carpal tunnel and the occasional tweak, physical jobs can destroy your body. A Redditor who worked in arboriculture for 14 years had to leave the field after “lifting wrong.”
Related: The Most Satisfying Jobs That Also Pay Well
Get a PhD
True nerds can’t help themselves. They learn about something obscure and just can’t stop reading. The only place where you can get paid to do that kind of work is at the university. However, the unfortunate truth is that a PhD may make you less hirable in the eyes of employers, as one Redditor shares.
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