Trader Joe’s announced its lineup of seasonal fall products last week, which means two things. First, with all those potent cinnamon brooms displayed at checkout, expect an all-out assault on the senses the next time you enter your local store. And second, get ready for a dizzying array of autumnal pumpkin, apple, and butternut squash-flavored products.
While some of these treats are a delight (try the honeycrisp apple granola), others will make you wish that pumpkin and cinnamon never existed. To save you the trouble of trying the fall fails, we’ve made a list of the worst seasonal products from Trader Joe’s, according to shoppers on Reddit.
1. Apple Cider Donuts
$4.49
The reviews of Trader Joe’s apple cider doughnuts are so scathing that we can’t help but feel a little bad for these cinnamon sugar doughnuts. “Every year I regret buying the apple cider donuts,” one Redditor writes, adding that they’re the “saddest, driest excuse for a donut” that they’ve ever had. And other critical comments aren’t much better, with another Trader Joe’s shopper calling them “a dry disappointment.” Sheesh!
2. Pumpkin-Shaped Fall Zucchette Pasta
$2.29
Everything is coming up pumpkin at Trader Joe’s. But there are some things that just shouldn’t be pumpkinified. While the pumpkin-shaped pasta is “cute,” they fall apart when cooked, according to one shopper. “I’ve never been able to cook these correctly,” another commenter shares. “They’re always either undercooked or overcooked and crumble.”
3. Apple Cider Foaming Hand Soap
$2.99
Like potpourri? Well, you’ve got to love it if you want to tolerate Trader Joe’s apple cider hand soap. One commenter says that it smells like “a dusty potpourri bowl” — and not in a good way.
4. Fall Harvest Salsa
$3.49
In its description of its fall salsa, Trader Joe’s decides to lecture readers about the origins of the word “salsa,” which they explain “simply means ‘sauce’” in Spanish. Since the definition is loose in North America, they seem to argue, why not try to create something that embodies the “salsification of New England… with a Latin twist”?
Well, we can tell you why not. This pumpkin-based dip is, in the words of one shopper, “disgusting.” That said, this unusual concoction does have its defenders, one of whom claims that it’s one of the best salsas at Trader Joe’s. Has salsa ever been so divisive?
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5. Cinnamon Broom
$4.99
If you want your apartment to smell like artificial cinnamon (and only artificial cinnamon), then go ahead. Buy the cinnamon broom. But don’t say we didn’t warn you, because this decorative broom is strong. One consumer shares that they were “practically knocked backwards” by the smell.
Related: A Definitive Ranking of 6 Trader Joe’s Wraps and Sandwiches
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6. Pumpkin Chocolate-Chunk Oatmeal Cookie Mix
$3.99
While these sound amazing (who doesn’t like chocolate-chunk oatmeal cookies), Trader Joe’s fans are in near unanimous agreement: Skip this mix. The complaints are so numerous and varied — depending on who you ask, they’re too salty, too sweet, too spicy, don’t have enough pumpkin, etc. — that we’re convinced the haters are right.7. Cinnamon Bun Spread
$3.49
Not only is the cinnamon bun spread “disgusting,” but it also had a “laxative effect” on one Trader Joe’s shopper. Oh, and it hardly tastes like a cinnamon bun. Unless an unappetizing, honey-flavored paste that makes you go number two sounds good, resist the urge to try this spread.
Related: Costco vs. Trader Joe’s: Whose Key Lime Pie Reigns Supreme?
8. Butternut Squash Mac and Cheese
$3.79
This fall-themed mac and cheese is tearing the Trader Joe’s community apart. While some fans heap on the praise, other shoppers aren’t convinced. It’s not awful, critics say, just unremarkable. “I went to multiple stores to find it because my love of butternut squash runs deep, but it was super disappointing personally,” a Redditor shares.
Related: I Tried 9 Types of Trader Joe’s Hummus — Here’s How They Ranked
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9. Fall Leaf Corn Tortilla Chips
$2.99
The problem with most of these “must-skip” fall failures isn’t that they aren’t festive or cute. Pumpkin shaped pasta in fall? In theory, we’re totally on board. The issue is that being cute isn’t enough, especially when you have to eat whatever product the Trader Joe’s test kitchen has dreamed up.
Unfortunately, the fall leaf corn tortilla chips don’t buck the cute-but-disappointing trend. “They are so so cute but don’t taste good compared to regular tortilla chips,” a commenter writes.
10. Caramel Apple Mochi
$4.99
But the most reviled autumnal product, one that repeatedly received searing criticism, is the caramel apple mochi. It’s so bad, in fact, that we can add it to the list of fall Trader Joe’s products that will make you rush to the bathroom — except this time you’ll be leaning over the toilet instead of on it. “Unless you want to throw up,” skip this “terrible,” “artificial-tasting” fall fail.
