Why is it that it’s often the most absurd and seemingly useless products that we always want to buy? Whether it’s their quirky design, an odd sense of novelty, or just the sheer fun of owning something silly, these items have a strange hold on us. While they might not serve any real purpose, they do bring a smile to our faces — and some might say that’s money well spent.
From a self-stirring mug to a hamster leash, here are 20 dumb, fun, and useless products that you’ll probably end up wanting.
1. Remote Control Strap
Ever lose the remote between the couch cushions? It’s the absolute worst! But fret not, this trusty remote keeper could be the solution to your woes. The only downside? You might look a bit goofy reaching for the corded control during movie nights.
But hey, at least you’ll never have to worry about losing it again.
2. Pet Rock
A classic 1970s fad, the Pet Rock is just that — a rock with googly eyes. It doesn’t need food, water, or walks, making it the perfect low-maintenance “pet.” Despite its lack of functionality (or barking), it’s a nostalgic item that still commands sales today, reminding us that sometimes the simplest things can bring us the most joy.
3. Motorized Ice Cream Cone
Tired of having to manually turn your ice cream cone? This battery-powered gadget does the spinning for you to ensure a perfectly even melt. While it’s completely unnecessary, there’s something fun about watching a cone spin in slow motion. It’s a product we didn’t know we needed, but now we can’t stop thinking about it.
4. Pizza Scissors
Forget pizza wheels; these scissors with a built-in spatula are the new way to cut and serve perfect slices. Sure, it may look like overkill, but it combines two tools into one, which can be useful to maximize drawer space. While the design can look a bit clunky, customers say the tool works surprisingly well. We may just give it a try ourselves.
5. USB-Powered Pet Rock
Taking the Pet Rock to the digital age, this version connects to your computer via USB. It doesn’t do anything, but a light glows to indicate it’s “alive.” It’s the ultimate useless desk accessory, but it’s charming enough to warrant a spot next to your keyboard. Perfect for those who appreciate the absurdity of modern technology.
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6. Self-Stirring Mug
If you’re one of those people who just can’t be bothered in the mornings (guilty), this one’s for you. Too lazy to stir your coffee after waking up? This self-stirring mug does exactly that. It’s hilariously unnecessary — after all, stirring with a spoon isn’t exactly strenuous — but it’s undeniably fun to watch it whirling away.
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7. Fish Training Kit
Yes, you can train a pet fish with this kit, which includes tiny hoops, a tunnel, and a mirror. But while the idea of a fish performing tricks is amusing (and so darn adorable), it won’t be an easy feat to achieve. Most fish have tiny brains and likely won’t be able to master elaborate tricks or stunts. Still, we bet it’d be so cute to watch.
8. Bacon Bandages
Why use regular bandages when you can cover your cuts with ones that look like strips of bacon? They won’t help wounds heal any better or quicker, but they sure make injuries look more interesting (and maybe a tad appetizing?) The realistic bacon design is both gross and hilarious. Perfect for those who love a bit of breakfast humor.
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9. Hula Chair
The Hula Chair, or Hawaii Chair, was featured on The Ellen Show and promises to tone your abs by mimicking the motion of a hula hoop. But we’re skeptical. How can sitting there burn calories efficiently? Still, while the Hula Chair probably won’t be replacing our gym routines anytime soon, the idea of working out this way is certainly appealing.
10. Pet Butler
Ever wish your pet could serve you drinks? This serving vest for your dog (or cat) turns them into a walking drink tray, complete with cup holders. It may be impractical and a bit demeaning for Fido, but it’s also a hilarious way to entertain guests. Just don’t expect your pooch to be thrilled about his new job; he may even demand a raise! (Thankfully, it’s actually just a novelty gift box, so your pet will be relieved.)
11. Lawn Aerating Shoes
These sandals with spikes on the bottom are designed to aerate your lawn as you walk. They might make you look like a character from a low-budget sci-fi movie, but they do technically work. Walking around in them is awkward and clunky, but it’s a quirky way to take care of your yard. Plus, it’s a good conversation piece.
12. Car Exhaust BBQ Grill
Attach this tiny grill to your car’s exhaust pipe, and you can cook meals anytime, anywhere. But the idea of grilling your dinner using your car’s emissions is both absurd and terrifying — not to mention unhealthy. It’s more of a gag gift than a serious cooking tool (and technically it’s an empty box meant as a joke), but it’s sure to get laughs.
13. Hamster Leash
If you ever want to take your pet hamster on a walk, don’t forget their stylish leash. It’s as silly as it sounds, considering hamsters are notorious for escaping from anything. The leash is more of a novelty item than something you’d actually use. Still, the idea of a hamster or rodent going for a walk on a leash is sure to make anyone chuckle.
14. Cat Duster Slippers
These Moorfowl cat slippers, which are equipped with microfiber dusters on the bottom, allow you to clean the floors as you wander the house. While it’s a clever concept, and the slippers are quite cute, we doubt they’ll be more effective than, say, a mop. Still, we can see why people would gravitate towards them. Plus, they’re cheap.
15. Toilet Golf
Ever wished you could play golf while sitting on the throne? This mini-golf set, cleverly named the “potty putter,” is designed to be used while doing your business. It’s a ridiculous concept, but it certainly adds a touch of humor to one’s bathroom routine. It’s perfect for anyone who takes their toilet time seriously — or not at all.
16. Bananaphone
This banana-shaped gadget is a Bluetooth speaker for your actual smartphone. While it’s an amusing throwback to the days of novelty phones and landlines, it’s actually pretty useless. The sound quality is average at best, according to reviews, and paying $40 to hold a banana to your ear seems quite dumb. Still, it’s a fun way to make calls, even if it’s just for the laughs.
17. Avocado Saver
This plastic gadget claims to keep your avocado fresh longer by covering the unused half. But in reality, it’s not much more effective than wrapping it in plastic wrap. While we think the idea of a specialized tool for a single piece of fruit is absurd, it seems to appeal to avocado lovers. It’s a fun, if unnecessary, addition to one’s kitchen tools.
18. Gold-Plated Stapler
A regular stapler does the job, but why settle for a plain one when you could buy a golden one for 30 bucks? It doesn’t staple any better, but it sure looks fancy on a desk. It’s the kind of luxury item that’s completely unnecessary but irresistibly extravagant. A worthy splurge for those who want to make a statement with their office supplies.
19. Beer Holster
Why hold your beer when you can strap it to your hip like a cowboy? This leather holster keeps your drink at the ready while freeing up your hands for other tasks. It’s more silly than useful, especially since most people don’t need to carry their drinks around like a weapon. Still, we bet it’s a fun accessory to show off at parties.
20. Snuggie for Dogs
The Snuggie was already a questionable product, but now there’s one for dogs. It’s essentially a fleece blanket with sleeves, designed to keep your pet warm. But while it might look cozy, most dogs aren’t thrilled about having to wear clothes. Despite its dubious practicality, it’s hard not to smile at the sight of a pup in a Snuggie.
