Conversation hearts used to be a fun little purchase for Valentine’s Day, but this year, those once-cutesy sayings are more real than ever: They’re reminding us how broke we are.
Sweethearts, one of the companies that makes conversation hearts, announced the new phrases some of the hearts in their packages will hold this year, and they’re a little too on the nose when we just want some silly candy. Among some of the new bangers are “SPLIT RENT,” “SHARE LOGN,” “CAR POOL,” “BUY N BULK,” and “JOINT TAXES.” How romantic.
Those depressing additions came about from a survey the candy company completed where 80% of respondents say the economy is impacting their Valentine’s Day plans. (Why they needed a survey to figure that out, we have no idea.) “Sweethearts has always evolved with the times by staying aware of current dating trends and relationships,” said the company in a press release, “and being practical is having a moment.” Boy, “practical” sure is a weird way of saying “broke.”
‘These Conversation Hearts Are a Recession Indicator’
These new cash-strapped conversation hearts aren’t really hitting it off with most people, either, even if they’re ultimately relatable. People want careless fun from their candy, not a reality check reminder that they can’t afford their rent AND a Netflix subscription at the same time.
“Sad realization that dual incomes are necessary to get ahead,” said one Redditor in a thread about the new Sweethearts sayings.
Another replied with a personal anecdote that hammers home just how relevant these candy hearts are. “My 50+ year old co-worker said, ‘I want to meet someone, you know, a companion, someone to split bills with.’ To hear this admitted out loud by someone older than me really shocked me.” That’s not something you expect to hear in a conversation about Valentine’s Day candy, but here we are.
“These conversation hearts are a recession indicator,” said another Redditor, and yeah, it’s an unlikely sign-of-the-times. Instead of spending money on our sweeties, we’re doing the math to see whether a partnership is financially beneficial or just another way of going into debt.
One Redditor points out that Sweethearts seems to have missed an obvious addition. “Recession Hearts: Used to say I❤️U now it’s IOU.” Yep, that tracks.
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